I'm Brittany. I'm a 21-year-old studying English and journalism at UCF. I am the Assistant Music Director to the lovely ladies of the a cappella group, So Noted. I'm a twin, I wear shoes as seldom as possible, and I'm more than a little crass, so follow at your own risk.
If you don't like a lot of text... I'm not your girl.
If you want someone really sarcastic and friendly to talk to... follow me, everything is alright~
Formerly baiseouaisbretagne, sentimental-valium, and theauralfixation.
Shit My Mom Says + Shit My Dad Says.
Oh my god I’m on the phone with my mom and I zoned out
And I came back in and she’s telling me about her first experience with oral
Oh my god I’m so uncomfortable please let me go
Happy Mother’s Day
Mom: ...so then I went to the bar with Jay-
Me: Was that the guy that turned out to be a Neo-Nazi?
Mom: Yeah... and he seemed so nice...
Me: You know how those Nazis are.
My mother on a cappella
Mom: We're sitting in the parking lot with the windows rolled down. If we keep saying "blowjob", people will start flocking to the car. Blowjob. Blowjob. Blowjob blowjob.
(out the window)
My niece: Mimi, what is this thing in your nightstand? [holds up a vibrator]
A PIANO TUNER
...PUT IT BACK