I'm Brittany. I'm a 21-year-old studying English and journalism at UCF. I am the Assistant Music Director to the lovely ladies of the a cappella group, So Noted. I'm a twin, I wear shoes as seldom as possible, and I'm more than a little crass, so follow at your own risk.
If you don't like a lot of text... I'm not your girl.
If you want someone really sarcastic and friendly to talk to... follow me, everything is alright~
Formerly baiseouaisbretagne, sentimental-valium, and theauralfixation.
Ask.
Archive.
Covers.
Shit My Mom Says + Shit My Dad Says.
Me.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
Oh my god I’m on the phone with my mom and I zoned out
And I came back in and she’s telling me about her first experience with oral
Oh my god I’m so uncomfortable please let me go
Happy Mother’s Day
Mom: ...so then I went to the bar with Jay-
Me: Was that the guy that turned out to be a Neo-Nazi?
Mom: Yeah... and he seemed so nice...
Me: You know how those Nazis are.
Those boys did this song at your acabello competition!
My mother on a cappella
A man walks into a bar and sees a woman. She looks to be in her 60s, but he realizes that she’s very good-looking for her age, so he buys her a drink. After a while, she asks, “Have you ever had a Sportsman’s Special?” He looks confused and says, “No, what is that?” She responds, “It’s a mother-daughter threesome.” The man starts imagining what it would be like and how attractive her daughter must be since this woman is so beautiful. He responds that he has never had one and she replies, “Well, tonight is your lucky night.” She takes him back to her house. She opens the door and yells up the stairs, “Mom, are you still awake?
My mother
Discussing sex with my mother (as usual)...
Mom: We're sitting in the parking lot with the windows rolled down. If we keep saying "blowjob", people will start flocking to the car. Blowjob. Blowjob. Blowjob blowjob.
(out the window)
BLOWJOB!
My niece: Mimi, what is this thing in your nightstand? [holds up a vibrator]
Mom: UH
UM
IT'S BRITTANY'S
IT'S UH
IT'S
UM
A PIANO TUNER
...PUT IT BACK
